Have you ever looked back on a moment and thought,
“If only I had said or done something different…”
“If only I hadn’t reacted that way…”
Maybe you snapped. Or shut down. Or over-explained yourself into exhaustion.
And later, you were left wondering, “Where did that even come from?”
What if it came from a part of you that still feels unseen?
🔥 A Personal Story: When Rebellion Is a Love Language
I’ve always been rebellious.
Rules that made sense to me? Fine.
But rules that feel arbitrary or controlling? They light a fire in me.
A compulsion to do the opposite—just to prove I could.
My father triggered this part of me more than anyone.
He wanted control. I wanted freedom.
If he told me to go left, I would go right.
If he wanted me to be one kind of person, I became another.
I became friends with people he didn’t approve of.
I dated people I knew he would not approve of.
I dropped out of high school.
I spent as little time at home as possible, while technically following just enough rules to not get kicked out.
I remember once, in the middle of an argument, he said,
"I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made."
And I screamed:
"LET ME MAKE MY OWN MISTAKES!"
Now, I can see clearly what that teenage angst was.
That was my Inner Child yelling:
“YOU CAN’T CONTROL ME. I’M MY OWN PERSON.”
What felt like defiance on the outside was really a desperate attempt to feel seen, respected, and allowed to be who I really was.
In many ways, my life would’ve been simpler if I’d just followed his advice (did what I was told).
But it wouldn’t have been mine.
It would’ve been a life designed for me—not by me.
Freedom isn’t just what I value.
It’s who I am.
🌱 The Younger You Is Still in There
If you imagine your life as a timeline, how many versions of yourself do you recognize?
Each version shaped the person you are today.
If not for who you were back then, you wouldn’t be who you are now.
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The child who wanted to be listened to shows up when you get loud, excited, passionate—or scared. They get excited to be heard, or they get triggered when shut down again.
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The teen who craved freedom still decides which rules make sense and which ones feel arbitrary. What rules will you follow? What’s a deal-breaker that sends you looking for a new path? This was one reason I left Chicago to travel and I decide to land at a nudist resort in the middle of nowhere. Different rules here than the rest of the world and people all around me who also live lif eby their own rules.
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The you who made hard choices now leaves you second guessing, wondering if a different choice would lead to an easier result.
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The you who felt alone learned to enjoy their own company and appreciate the quiet or found friends to distract themselves from all that quiet,
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The you that kept going anyway, that refused to give up or back down from fear is now wise enough to spot red flags you once missed, but may question their luck, depending on how successful they've been.
Each version of you still lives inside you and each one carries beliefs shaped by the people and environments they passed through. These are all parts of you.
Their energy stays with you—always.
And how you feel about those parts of yourself shows up in the way your life feels today.
Maybe you were told to be “good,” to stay quiet, to not ask for too much—lest you be judged as selfish.
Be modest. Be humble. Know your place.
Those are the unspoken lessons many of us absorbed.
Over time, those messages—whether subtle or loud—can plant seeds of unworthiness.
Not because you lacked value, but because the adults or authority figures in your life didn’t know how to see the value you hold.
They were parenting (or teaching or mentoring) from what they knew.
Passing on what they had been taught.
"Children should be seen and not heard. Speak only when spoken to."
They didn’t know any better.
But now, you do.
🌀 Old Wounds, Present Patterns
Those old beliefs?
They still echo.
They show up in the moments you feel dismissed.
The times you feel unappreciated.
The way you shut down when you’re overwhelmed—or lash out when you feel like no one is listening.
They look like:
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Passive-aggressive eye rolls
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Withdrawing without explanation
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Defensiveness and justification
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Over-explaining because you’re afraid your intentions are being misunderstood
Whether you call it drama or attention-seeking, it’s self-protection.
Your Inner Child is trying to say: “See me. Choose me. Hear me.”
Now imagine if that child knew everything would turn out okay.
If they knew they everything would turn out ok,no matter what they chose to do.
What if they knew they were loved. If they felt capable, safe, and allowed to become exactly who they are?
Would they make the same decisions? Would they react the same way to those trigggers or could they learn to trust your intentions and decisions?
💬 What That Younger Version of You Was Really Asking For
What if your strongest reactions were never about proving someone wrong — but about proving yourself right?
When I was resistant to my dad and anything he promoted, I didn't want him to have faith in me, because if he did, he might be proud of me.
To make him feel good was almost pain inducing to me. I was so mad at him for trying to control me, I was seething and I couldn't bear to consider seeing him happy.
Most of us aren’t acting out because we want to hurt anyone.
We’re reacting because we still haven’t gotten what we needed back then:
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Reassurance that we are loved for being who we are, not for what we've accomplished
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Permission to be who we are, unapologetically, needing no justification for feeling how we feel or wanting what we want
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A sense that we’re allowed to be who we are without fear of rejection
You’re not overreacting to anything, you’re reacting with your whole story.
And your younger self is part of that story.
💗 Healing Looks Like Understanding, Not Control
Just like a child who acts out when they feel overstimulated, overwhelmed or unseen, your emotions don’t need more rules—they need more understanding.
Rebellion is a natural response to feeling powerless.
The more rules someone tries to force on you, the more you want to break free. Your Inner Child isn’t misbehaving.
They're trying to break free from the chains they feel bound by in their misplaced loyalty.
They’re tired of trying to meet or exceed expectations that don’t feel safe or fair.
Healing isn’t about controlling those reactions. It’s about understanding them.
It’s about giving your Inner Child the safety they never had—by choosing differently now.
When you pause instead of spiral, when you comfort instead of criticize, when you listen instead of judge... That’s healing.
That’s how you begin to reclaim your responses—without losing yourself in them.
🚪Your Next Step (If You’re Ready for One)
If this resonates with you, if the tone of this conversation feels safe to you, know that there’s more support where this came from.
Right now, as the community I’m building is still in its early stages, I’m offering something special: a founding membership.
This is your invitation to be part of something from the ground up.
We’re creating a space, a room to grow, so to speak, a voice for people who have, until now, felt unheard. Maybe like you, ready to better understand themselves, heal old patterns, and finally feel at home in their own energy.
As a founding member, you’ll:
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Help shape the future of this work
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Lock in the lowest rate it will ever be offered at
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Be part of a movement that’s just beginning to take root
Your input matters. I’ll be asking for your thoughts, your feedback, and your voice as we grow. Because this isn't just about building a program—it's about creating a path that feels good, and you are part of that path.
💬 Think of this as a step toward yourself—toward knowing who you are beneath all the noise, and toward releasing the resistance you’ve carried for far too long.
This work will grow, and so will we. But for now, it’s just us—on the ground floor of something that already feels bigger than me. Bigger than any one of us.
Are you ready to explore what life feels like when you stop apologizing for who you are?
👉 Click here to find out how to become a founding member
(You’ll be directed to the membership page for all the details.)